Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
