I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
