My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
