its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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