Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
