So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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