I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
