weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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