the condom got lost in my hair
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
