You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
