I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
