i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize