i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize