I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
