I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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