She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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