im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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