On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
