I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize