My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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