i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
