My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
