u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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