i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
a search helicopter?!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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