Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
