I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
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Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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