Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
love makes seman taste better
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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