Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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