Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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