I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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