I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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