oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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