wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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