I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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