living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
