first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize