dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
