they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
