i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
