I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
