tell your sister to shave her snatch
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
