we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
