I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
