Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever

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(519): View more from Ontario

i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach

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(906): View more from Michigan

nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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(817): View more from Texas

I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.

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