remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
