Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great

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(804): Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great http://tfl.nu/xifb

Replies (26) Good night (5671) Bad night (472)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?

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(203): I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon? http://tfl.nu/6yeo

Replies (34) Good night (4470) Bad night (2418)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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(717): do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT http://tfl.nu/ci1u

Replies (17) Good night (5706) Bad night (1156)
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(714): View more from California

My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.

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(714): My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win. http://tfl.nu/b8se

Replies (15) Good night (5254) Bad night (1182)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one

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(402): i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one http://tfl.nu/cpp8

Replies (15) Good night (4821) Bad night (1318)
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(530): View more from California

Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.

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(530): Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe. http://tfl.nu/c8em

Replies (14) Good night (6173) Bad night (1479)
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(707): View more from California

come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

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(707): come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/6h34

Replies (17) Good night (2005) Bad night (2462)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...

(1-320): View more from Minnesota

It's been a bad semester.

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(320): I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill... (1-320): It's been a bad semester. http://tfl.nu/n3pf

Replies (9) Good night (952) Bad night (2074)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty

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(303): I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty http://tfl.nu/j05t

Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (518)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries

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(423): So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries http://tfl.nu/0e3x

Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (278)
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(928): View more from Arizona

i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.

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(928): i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice. http://tfl.nu/k07n

Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (311)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave

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(919): he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave http://tfl.nu/tg51

Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (261)
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(716): View more from New York

Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators

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(716): Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators http://tfl.nu/mdm6

Replies (8) Good night (789) Bad night (374)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

It's a short, short story.

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(601): I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex. (1-601): It's a short, short story. http://tfl.nu/1rzv

Replies (1) Good night (213) Bad night (605)
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(661): View more from California

He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.

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(661): He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder. http://tfl.nu/ebay

Replies (4) Good night (613) Bad night (189)

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