the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'