Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  did you hook up austin?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed

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  (269): did you hook up austin? (248): No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed http://tfl.nu/3mnz
  Replies (5) Good night (1030) Bad night (1525)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.

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  (407): Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama. http://tfl.nu/o21n
  Replies (59) Good night (932) Bad night (3752)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

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  (847): If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen http://tfl.nu/f9bs
  Replies (4) Good night (3876) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...

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  (765): He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina... http://tfl.nu/78ky
  Replies (19) Good night (2014) Bad night (7506)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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  (902): you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had http://tfl.nu/lpp3
  Replies (9) Good night (3490) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed

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  (480): He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed http://tfl.nu/idar
  Replies (6) Good night (851) Bad night (2689)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

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  (716): she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper http://tfl.nu/z4y6
  Replies (28) Good night (5880) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.

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  (814): We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus. http://tfl.nu/cwxq
  Replies (16) Good night (1426) Bad night (2031)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.

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  (316): Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all. http://tfl.nu/i7x5
  Replies (5) Good night (1213) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt

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  (410): halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt http://tfl.nu/2dpk
  Replies (8) Good night (2962) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues

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  (310): I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues http://tfl.nu/j2av
  Replies (4) Good night (1221) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.

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  (908): HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW. http://tfl.nu/s4dk
  Replies (6) Good night (1080) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today

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  (760): You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today http://tfl.nu/u74i
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him

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  (334): this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him http://tfl.nu/vg1j
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.

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  (276): I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best. http://tfl.nu/o1z6
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (321)

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