Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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