so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
