this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
