Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
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She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
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The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
dude. I can hear the air.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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