you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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