dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I need water and some morals
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
