Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
