I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
