i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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