so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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