How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
