so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
