I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
